Too Much Cinnamon

    I have been in some of the foulest moods. I can't figure out what is going on with me. I don't know if it's a normal occurrence for mothers, but I am ready for a break. I need to get K and E away from me for a few days. What would I do without them here? Probably just miss them, but... I feel like I'm irritated that I am a mom.

    I know that I have been having a lot of thoughts lately. None that go with a particular area of thought, but it's been everywhere. I do feel like they may be more unrealistic and negative than positive, and maybe it's changing my thought process of reality.

    She's just so amazing. She's getting so rotten though. She thinks she is the boss of everything. She hits. She tells me no CONSTANTLY. She fights with you when you NEED to do something, like change her diaper, or lay her down for bedtime or nap time.

 I believe that I am becoming so irritated that the relationship between me and E is changing. We fight. She thinks it's a game, and it just makes me more angry. I don't feel like medication is necessary, but I need someone to do something with. I need a hobby or something. Like taking a workout class or maybe going to CA music house and learning an instrument. It really isn't that expensive but it's a cost that I can't afford right now.

It seems like the less action I do the less I care, the more I think and the less I do. Like an endless cycle of being stuck inside of your brain. Hopefully my cycle doesn't end in a bad way. Hopefully I will be able to pull myself out of the cycle and find my way out of the darkness. I hope that we can be a strong family force rather than not.